Lost Cause
by calleighstorres
Summary: "You're a lost cause, Wolfe. There's a reason you took the longest to find." Ryan's thoughts in hospital before being released. AU. Calleigh/Ryan angst.


**Authors Notes: Tag on to my fic 'Crying' :P - The events that caused his breakdown. The before. Changed title from 'Bring Me to Life' to 'Lost Cause'.**

**[Lyrics used from 'Bring Me To Life' by Evanescence!] - What this story is inspired by! **

**Summary: Ryan's rescued after being kidnapped a second time.. but his reaction isn't what anyone expected.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own anything. q:**

**/ **

_"BRING ME TO LIFE (LOST CAUSE)"_

Ryan could hear sirens going and see blinding lights flashing blue and red. He'd shot the guy who brutally tortured him. He could barely walk. But somehow, he'd managed to find the strength to get up and defend himself. He didn't get his black belt for nothing. His face had blood running down it from a deep gash on his forehead. The black eye was only noticeable once you got close enough.

He kicked the gun away and shoved his gloves in his pocket. His shirt was completely torn out with blood seeping through the material. Wolfe was also bleeding from his busted lip in which he had recently spat out blood from. Horatio, Natalia, Eric and Calleigh had all come. But he couldn't help but wonder how quickly they'd have looked if it was anyone else missing. They hadn't thought anything was up. Not even after a whole week and a bit.

"Wolfe?"

Ryan didn't answer and stumbled past Eric, avoiding his gaze as he did so. The Cuban didn't understand why he wasn't happy to be found. "Ryan? You okay?" "I'm fine." He lied, trying to get past both him and the blonde as his breathing started to speed up a little. He was getting a little dazed but refused to pass out anywhere near anyone here.

"Ryan, let us help you-"

"No!" He shouted all of a sudden, catching the attention of every other officer there.

The young CSI rushed forward and managed to reach the paramedics that were waiting for him at the ambulance. Calleigh and Eric watched, Eric with some of his blood on his hand from his chest. They weren't sure why he was so angry. Usually people would be emotional - not like this though. It was so unlike him. To give into his anger the way he did just then. Whatever thoughts in his head that had done that were worrying. He'd only just evaded an assault charge from a few years ago.

Horatio saw a look on his youngest CSIs face that he'd seen before. Ryan wasn't wrong though. It had been the second time he'd been kidnapped and tortured rhe way he was. Through the rips on his shirt, the lieutenant had seen the indentations he would guess to be from a.. whip. He could never imagine being faced with that level of pain. How Ryan had kept such a straight face did bother him. It meant he didn't trust anyone around him. And how could he not trust him own teammates? He'd been on the team long enough.

Wolfe had passed out in the ambulance. All he could hear was faint shouting and the sound of clattering. The pitch black was nothing but an effect of being in a temporary slumber.

When his eyes finally opened, he was in a hospital room with a few people around. His stab wound had been patched up. He could feel the stitches on his side. "Try not to move too much, Mr Wolfe." The nurse said, propping up his pillows as he sat up a little more in the bed. Ryan nodded and adjusted his eyesight. It was still a little blurry as he'd only just woken up from when he passed out. He assumed they had given him anaesthetic during his blackout so they could do the emergency surgery. That would explain the extreme fatigue he felt. The last thing he wanted to do was sleep.

"Which hospital am I at?"

"Miami-Dade General. Why?"

Ryan shook his head. "No reason. Are my clothes bagged?" The nurse nodded in response as the doctor came in. "Ryan. How are you feeling?" "Like crap." He flat out replied, being a little annoyed by how awful he probably looked. His face was covered in scars and bruises, much like the other parts of his body.

A few hours later, Ryan realised he'd fallen asleep again for a while. Only the nurse wasn't there anymore. It was Calleigh, stood with her camera hanging over her shoulder and her kit in her hand. She needed to process him for evidence. "The clothes I wore are over there. He didn't wear gloves. The whip has my epithelials on the receiving end." He was actually allowed to stand up now, as his stitches had finally settled.

Calleigh handed him the other bag she had. It had some fresh clothes, along with some extra stuff. Ryan, though he wasn't in the best of moods, appreciated her kindness. "Thanks." was the only thing he said as the doctor had entered. He needed to give Ryan a clear bill of health in order for him to be able to get ready to go.

"Mr Wolfe, you are all set. This kind woman from CSI is just here to process you."

Ryan nodded. The doctor left the room to give them privacy. The young CSI put his boxers on underneath his hospital gown. He'd been dying to because without them it was really triggering his OCD. "You ready?" The blonde asked sincerely. Ryan shrugged, getting up from the bed for the first time in a while.

Then Calleigh began to process him. He let down half the gown, allowing her to see the whip lashes on him. Still red as ever. "Ryan- I had no idea-" Ryan shook his head. "It's okay." He whispered as her gloved fingertips traced along the red indentations on his perfectly muscular back. Wolfe could feel his heart beat a little faster as she did so. Being this close.. it brought on a whole load of feelings he didn't want to even think about. Couldn't.

Calleigh took pictures of his back, before she moved on to his neck/jaw area. His busted lip. Black eye. Cuts. As she observed the pale complexity of his skin, she soon began to realise the story these wounds told. The defensive wounds on his knuckles and forearms indicated a struggle. As did the busted lip and black eye, which suggested he'd been hit or punched. Then stab wound which really did speak for itself. And the dreaded evidence that he was brutally tortured. The whip.

It made her wish they'd found him sooner. She began to understand his hurt to their timing. He was hurting. Not only physically, but emotionally.

"I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner." She said, taking the last few photos of the stab wound on his side.

Ryan sighed. Despite it being the only thing he had wanted to hear, he wasn't sure how he felt after. "I'm fine now." Calleigh wanted to believe him. She really did. But she deep down felt that he was lying. There wasn't a way he was completely fine after an experience like that. "..You don't need to lie to me, Ry." "I don't know how else to tell you." He admitted with no backup expression on his face.

"I felt like that when I almost drowned."

Wolfe remembered that day. He'd never felt worse. He could've lost her that day. The ballistics expert wasn't lying when she said she could relate. Both knew that well enough. Jake Berkeley had been a contributing factor to what made her struggle with it. "I know."

_'Wake me up inside_

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_Bid my blood to run_

_Before I come undone_

_Save me from the nothing I've become'_

He'd need some time to recover. Everybody knew that. And it wouldn't be easy to regain his ultimate trust. Not after his outburst. Calleigh was closest already, only, she knew it would be a while before he really opened up to her.

However he allowed her to touch him. Like he secretly had never not trusted her with himself. The blonde felt his tensed muscles relax under her touch. As if she'd put him at ease without even knowing it.

Ryan wanted this to end. He wanted to resume things the way they were. Before he'd become a liability again. Being the youngest (and, supposedly, least appreciated) on the team meant it would mean less to get rid of the one the lieutenant wasn't as close to. That man reminded him of it. By repeating the same words to him with every hit.

**"You're a lost cause, Wolfe. There's a reason you took the longest to find."**

At first he didn't understand the foreseen meaning behind those words.

Until he was right.

Nor Calleigh, or Eric, or Natalia had been kidnapped as long as he had.

_Longest to find _meant that the investigation wasn't rushed. They had assumed he was just ill and forgot to phone in or something. That would have implicated that they expected him to disappear without warning.

_Lost cause _spoke for itself.

Maybe it's what he really was after all.

**The lost cause that always took the longest to find.**


End file.
